A Choose Your Own Adventure Guide to Choose Your Own Adventures

 

Do you ever find yourself screaming at a character not to open that door?

If no, go to a)                                      If yes, go to b)

a) Or mentally imploring them to give that guy a chance?

If no, go to b)                                      If yes, go to c)

b) …Hmm, I guess just go to e) if you want (look for the aligned center)

c) Then Choose Your Own Adventure Books are right up your alley! They let you, the reader, choose what happens next in the story from a given set of options.

If you are now reevaluating every single life choice because you’ve never read one of these, go to d)

 If you are a monster and aren’t reevaluating every single life choice because you’ve never read one of these, go to e)

 If you’ve read one of these and (obviously) love them, you can go to d)

d) I cry a delta of tears every day because I haven’t read more of them. The only way I can comfort myself is by retrieving this list from under my pillow:

Top 5 Choose Your Own Adventure Books I Must Read Soon

1) To Be or Not To Be –Hamlet choose your own adventure by Ryan North

That is the question.

2) Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

Are Neil and I practically the same person? I want to find out.

3) Lost in Austen: Create Your Own Jane Austen Adventure by Emma Campbell Webster

As long as I can put all the “Mr. Darcys” from the different books in one story then I’m good to go.

4) Pretty Little Mistakes: A Do-Over Novel by Heather McElhatton

“You may end up in an opulent mansion or homeless down by the river; happily married with your own corporation or alone and pecked to death by ducks in London; a Zen master in Japan or morbidly obese in a trailer park,” says the Amazon description.

5) Meanwhile by Jason Shiga

What happens when you put a guy in a science experiment of the future? I don’t know, but I want to find out…

But even then this list may only check the wildest of sobs, leaving a few audible sniffles behind. After all, though these books look amazing, there’s an overall tragic lack of this genre on the market.

So can I get serious with you for a minute? Because if you’re reading this that means you are one awesome person. Your excellent taste in Choose Your Own Adventure books means that I can trust you with a very important, elite task. Are you ready? Here it is: if you want to have my undying support, please write a choose your own adventure book with one of the following as a topic:

1) Fairy tales (obviously)
2) The Lord of the Rings
3) Some kind of superhero adventure
4) Something that takes place in the far, tech-crazy future. Like with robotic unicorns and stuff, I don’t know.
5) Something to do with time travel (one book devoted to this is not enough)

Now go forth and write!

I trust you.

Congratulations, you won! Go to k)

 
e) Choose Your Own Adventure Books to Read

If you are asking yourself, “to read a Choose Your Own Adventure or not to read a Choose Your Own Adventure,” go to f) 

If you both wish you could redo a part of your life and appreciate attractive men, go to g) 

If you are only skimming through this post before going back to your glorious rereading of “Pride and Prejudice,” go to h)

If you want to live life to the fullest, go to i)

If you are a dystopian book lover at heart, go to j)

If you are none of these, go to x)…the x that is in the upper right hand corner because you should be doing something else that’s actually worth your time.

f) To Be or Not To Be –Hamlet choose your own adventure by Ryan North

That is the question.

Go to k)

g) Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

Are Neil and I practically the same person? I want to find out.

Go to k)

h) Lost in Austen: Create Your Own Jane Austen Adventure by Emma Campbell Webster

As long as I can put all the “Mr. Darcys” from the different books in one story then I’m good to go.

Go to k)

i) Pretty Little Mistakes: A Do-Over Novel by Heather McElhatton

“You may end up in an opulent mansion or homeless down by the river; happily married with your own corporation or alone and pecked to death by ducks in London; a Zen master in Japan or morbidly obese in a trailer park,” says the Amazon description.

Go to k)

j) Meanwhile by Jason Shiga

What happens when you put a guy in a science experiment of the future? I don’t know, but I want to find out…

Go to k)

 
k) Happy adventuring!