Did You Know That Classical Composers Were Superheroes?

Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 2.18.27 PMLudwig van Beethoven: Mind control

How else could he have ignited the fierce battle that took place between Brahms and Wagner? They were both so obsessed with pursuing Beethoven’s legacy that they must have been under his power.

But before you go thinking he’s a supervillain like Loki, he also wrote some pretty different music that stretched the boundaries of what was acceptable at that time, and everyone loved it. We still love it today. So he used his powers for good, too (wait…could we still be under his superhuman influence??).

W.A. Mozart: Super speed

This guy wrote 626 pieces in 35 years…how’s that for super speed? Just from 1772 to 1774 he wrote over 12 symphonies, three masses, three divertimentos, two litanies, a keyboard concerto, a quintet, etc. etc.

Sergei Rachmaninoff: Elasticity/Flexibility

His hands were big. Really big. So big that some people think he may have had a disease (little do they know it was just his superpower to infinitely stretch out those fingers…). His piano pieces may be hard to play, but they’re also fantastic to listen to. Long live Rachmaninoff’s superpower!

J.S. Bach: Ability to mutate objects

Bach was the master of taking one line and turning it upside down, pairing it with a new line, and making something completely new and interesting. He was a smart cookie for going the subtle route with musical mutations. Now we just see him as one of the best composers of all time instead of a man possessed with a superpower.

Claude Debussy: Interpret nature

So many of his works have names like Nuages (Clouds), Le Vent Dans la Plaine (The Wind in the Plain), Clair de Lune (Moonlight)…his music beautifully reveals nature in a way that most music just can’t.

John Field: Possession/Time Traveller

There is no other logical explanation for the similarities between his nocturnes and the film score to Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version). He obviously time travelled to the 21st century and inhabited the body of the film’s composer to make sure the music was done right. Thank you, sir.

6 thoughts on “Did You Know That Classical Composers Were Superheroes?”

  1. This was too awesome, by the time I got to Rachmaninoff I was already grinning like a loon! Someone needs to make some kind of TV series or webcomic about superhero music composers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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