The Only Exercise Playlist You’ll Ever Need

WARNING: THIS MUSIC MAY CAUSE RECURRING NIGHTMARES, PARANOIA, AND/OR SHIN SPLINTS. LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK.

 1) Short Ride in a Fast Machine by John Adams

First, you need some motivation and optimism for the long trial ahead…you shall win the Olympics of exercise! You shall conquer!!! Endurance, strength, power: you have it all.

 
2) The Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky

So much for the babying. This is about a girl who is chosen to die as a sacrifice to the gods. And though it may start out a little slow, you can tell. So you can either start listening right when it gets crazy or take advantage of that nice, slow intro.

 
 3) The Planets, Op. 32: Mars, the Bringer of War by Gustav Holst

WAAAAAAARRRR. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR BATTLE.

 
4) …To Die For by Hans Zimmer (from The Lion King)

Kind of an outlier in this list, I know, but this piece will always be terrifying. ALWAYS.

RUN, SIMBA, RUN!!!!!!!!!

(These next three are particularly effective if it’s kind of dark or foggy out:)

5) A Haunted Landscape by George Crumb

Imagine that wherever you’re running is haunted.

You’re welcome.

 6) The Banshee by Henry Cowell

Umm, so a ghost may or may not be chasing you.

 
 7) Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima: Tren (Threnody), “To the Victims of Hiroshima” by Krzysztof Penderecki

Your ghost just got upgraded to Bloody Baron status.

 

8) Night on Bare Mountain by Modest Mussorgsky

You might remember this as the piece at the end of Disney’s Fantasia. You know, the one you always skipped because it was TERRIFYING.

 
 9) Moto perpetuo for Violin and Piano, Op. 11 by Niccolò Paganini

Now that you’re towards the end of your jog and feel the searing burn in your muscles, the music mocks you: “What? Tired already? I could go all day!”

 
10) Carmina Burana: O Fortuna by Carl Orff

As you crawl up to your door, this plays, giving you just enough energy to reach up and clutch that doorknob for dear life. YOU. ARE. VICTORIOUS.